Friday, February 23, 2007

Admittedly, it has been far too long between posts. My apologies extend to those who take personal offense to this. So I should really start off by referring to my last post where I announced that C&CM would be enjoying a brief sojourn at 3RRR. Since then, I'm happy to report that readers of the blog have missed not one, but three graveyard shifts in the past few weeks. Fortunately, I've included a tracklisting to these shows in the comments so you can relive some of the show's glory. If glory is synonymous with an aural catastrophe.

Although it appears that I will always be plagued by extremely irritating perfectionist tendencies, I was just relieved that I could do live radio again. A lot of it had to do with the exploitation of my Listen Without Prejudice segment, which provided ample opportunity to play white-labelled Roxette demos. Haha. To top off the whole experience, the Programming Manager actually said you certainly have the skills to be as good as any of the broadcasters on Triple R at the moment. It's enough for any girl to develop a chronic blushing problem.

However, despite the lovely feedback, it may take up to 10 years to actually obtain a show. Clearly, this is a severely depressing reality.. but I'm more disenchanted with the prospect of no more interviews. No more ridiculous chance meetings. No more life altering deep and meaningful conversations with gifted lyricists.. and more to the point, no more realisations that many of my musicians are in fact a drug addled prima donnas with no love and little respect.

Yeah, it breaks my heart.

So that's why I want this entry to feature some of those infamous excruciating interviews that I am certain many of you have seen before. Occasionally they illustrate the extreme ineptitude of the interviewer. Sometimes they highlight the most cruel and nasty characteristics of the musicians we admire most. It is for this reason that I dedicate this post to those struggling journalists who rarely have the opportunity to deal with their raging, ill-tempered heroes. You know I love you anyway.

Noel Gallagher on Triple J, November 2005
Here, a nameless Triple J presenter adopted what I believe to be a profoundly ungrateful, disrespectful and ditzy attitude upon interviewing one of the greatest songwriters of our generation. Not only did she talk to Noel Gallagher as if he was completely musically irrelevant, but her vague and aimless questions somehow managed to successfully provoke the desired response: Noel's views of former nouveau indie darlings Franz Ferdinand, Bloc Party and the Kaiser Chiefs caused a needless and ridiculous furore, offending many and surprising few.

Peter Hook on New Zealand radio, December 1982
Many would recognise Hooky as the oft-lovely dexterous bassist of New Order.. and I always had it on good authority that Hooky would be also lovely guy to interview. Right? Wrong. In this infamous early interview with a clearly shaken and overcome radio host, Hooky becomes so difficult and snarly that it effectively wants to make you crawl inside a cupboard and forget you ever heard Bizarre Love Triangle. That's how this whole mess started in the first place.

Freddie Mercury on Rio TV, promoting Rock in Rio, 1985
The fact that Freddie can't speak Portuguese and the interviewer can't understand English makes for a profoundly disjointed interview. But obviously, awkward multilingual exchanges are inevitable when you are the lead singer of the most famously fantabulous band in the world. However, this problem is aggravated by the fact that Freddie is clearly suspicious that the interviewer is distorting his responses. In typical style, my Freddie deals with it in a way that involves a lot of wit, class and flirtation. What can I say, he's my hero.

Pete Doherty on MTV News TV, May 2005
It's difficult to narrow down one excruciating incident with Pete Doherty. As much as I love his music, his behaviour during this interview sickened a vast many of his most loyal defenders, including myself. Initially Pete refused to join his bandmates for the backstage interview after a gig in Berlin. Midway through the interview, Pete joined the band and then proceeded to squirt a syringe full of his own blood at the camera. Needless to say, his bandmates were less than impressed, promptly apologising and walking out of the interview. Charming.


You can lose a lifetime thinking of it & lose an era daydreaming like I do

Paul Weller on Swedish TV, 1981
As much as I adore Paul Weller, I acknowledge that he is pretentious at the best of times. That being said, I cannot possibly understand why this Swedish television presenter felt so compelled to ask whether The Jam was named after a condiment. After a consistent sequence of slack-jawed questions and a persistent refusal to dignify those questions with a response, Weller still stands so close to this girl that it's unclear whether he wants to jump or slap her. I don't know, you tell me.

Noel & Liam Gallagher, the Wibbling Rivalry interview, Glasgow, 1994
What we have here is fourteen farcical minutes of arguing, swearing, cussing and shouting from two indecipherable drunken Mancunians. I can only imagine the sheer panic of interviewer, Q journalist John Harris who actually had the pressure of finding some shred of coherency between the pair. Fortunately Fierce Panda obtained the rights to the recording of this interview and it was later entitled Wibbling Rivalry. The disastrous interview between the squabbling Gallaghers later became the most successful interview release in the UK charts, reaching #52 in November 1995. Similarly, Q Magazine managed to find some use for the interview and published the transcript of Wibbling Rivalry interview, much to the amusement of Britpop lovers alike.

Addendum: No really, this has to be the most awkward interview in existence.

So yeah. That's all from me.

Here are some songs for your enjoyment:
The Sounds - Tony the Beat
Kasabian - Empire
!!! - Myth Takes
Pop! - Pop! Goes My Heart
Röyksopp - Poor Leno [Silicone Soul's Hypo House Dub]
Talkshow Boy - I Know A Girl Who Spots Foxes
Space - Neighbourhood (Radio Edit)
1984 - Step On Me (Take 1, Thames Television Studios Demo Tape, 1967)
Asobi Seksu - Thursday

All my loving, Elly x

1 comment:

El said...

For consistency's sake, Listen Without Prejudice isn't published. Tankyou.

Graveyard #1
New Order - Temptation '98
The Rakes - Terror (Extended Mix)
mclusky - To Hell With Good Intentions
Blur - Death of a Party (demo)
Elastica - Car Song
The Clash - This is Radio Clash
Thunderbirds are Now! - To: Skulls
Style Council - Speak Like a Child
Protex - I Can Only Dream
The Libertines - Good Old Days
Paul Weller - Wildwood (Portishead remix)
Interpol - Evil
Space - Neighbourhood
Saint Etienne - Love Will Only Break You
Barracudas - Summer Fun
The Lambrettas - Daaaance
The Spectors - In Your Room
Kobe Winona - Death of a Demographic
Mia - Tanz Der Molekule
Gyllene Tider - Det ar over nu
Bucks Fizz - Making Your Mind Up
Piney Gir - Boston
Frou Frou - Holding out for a Hero
Justice vs Simian - We are Your Friends
The Faint - Total Job
Depeche Mode - Mercy in You
The Cure - Want
REM - Box Cars (Carnival of Sorts)
The Church - She never said
Blur - Mr Robinson's Quango
Elvis Costello - I Don't Want to Go to Chelsea
Richard Ashcroft - Check the Meaning
Joe Strummer - Tony Adams
Big Audio Dynamite - I Don't Know/The Globe
Mint Royale - Don't Falter
Regina Spektor - Fidelity
Nellie McKay - The Dog Song
INXS - Wishy Washy
Ray Charles - Hit the Road Jack
Hipster Image - Make Her Mine
The Kinks - All Day & All The Night
The Jam - Move on Up
Oasis - D'You Know What I Mean
The Stone Roses - I Wanna Be Adored
Vermillion - Ignore the Pretty Girl
Cats on Fire - Higher Grounds
Black Box Recorder - Kidnapping an Heiress
Kate Bush - Army Dreamers
The Lucksmiths - From Macaulay Station
The Kooks - Lonely Cat (demo)
The Stems - At First Sight
The Blacklights - Girls Don't Cry
Dirty Pretty Things - Deadwood
Them - I Can Only Give You Everything
Phoenix - Consolation Prizes
INXS - Black & White (Extended Mix)
Pet Shop Boys - Miracles
Electronic - Vivid


Graveyard #2
Kasabian - Empire
Depeche Mode - Never Let Me Down Again (aggro mix)
!!! - Myth Takes
The Specials - Ghost Town
The Good, The Band & The Queen - History Song
Madness - Mr Speaker Gets the Word
Direct Hits - Soul Shoes
Mclusky - There Ain't No Fool in Ferguson
Art Brut - Emily Kane (Live at the Eurockéennes Festival 2006)
Fourtet vs Princess Waterman - Go Go Ninja Dinosaur
Simian - La Breeze
Blue Boy - Remember Me
RJD2 - Work it Out
Lady SOV - 9 to 5
Lily Allen - Knock Em Out
Beatles - Besame Mucho
Bloc Party - Secret
The Stills - Gender Bombs
Suede - Can't Get Enough
Cure - Halo
Asobi Seksu - Thursday
Richard X - Finest Dreams (feat Kelis)
New Order - Someone LIke You
Pet Shop Boys - Flamboyant
MC Chris - Bobba Vette
Royksopp - What Else is There? (Thin White Duke Remix)
Whitest Boy Alive - Fireworks
Badly Drawn Boy - Once Around the Block
Beatles - You've Got to Hide Your Love Away
Yaz - Nobody's Diary
Suzanne Vega - Left of Centre
The Church - As You Will
Death Cab for Cutie - President of What?
Detroit Cobras - Cha Cha Twist
Zutons - Pressure Point
White Stripes - My Doorbell
The Smiths - Is It Really So Strange?
Morrissey - I Don't Mind If You Forget Me
Spoon - The Way We Get By
Blur - TOPMAN
New Black - Booze Olympics
Queen - Feel Like (demo which eventually became Under Pressure)
INXS - Black & White (extended mix)
Midnight Oil - Blue Sky Mine
Oasis - Whatever
Belle & Sebastian - Sukie in the Graveyard
Kent - Just Like Money
Supersystem - Born into the World
OK GO - Hello my treacherous friends
Style Council - Shout to the Top
Radio 4 - Beat Around the Bush
Art Brut - My Little Brother


Graveyard #3
Depeche Mode - Black Celebration
Klaxons - Golden Skans
The Cribs - Things Aren't Gonna Change
Thunderboys - FBI
Blur - I'm Just a Killer for your Love
Phantom Planet - First Things First
The Smiths - Ask
The Clash - Rudie Can't Fail
The Carnaby - Jump & Dance
The Jam - Start!
Them - Bright Lights, Big City
Oasis - Stop Crying Your Eyes Out
Red Riders - Slide in Next to Me
Pet Shop Boys - Being Boring
Bloc Party - Always News Depths
The Knife - Heartbeats
Guster - So Long
The Weepies - Take it From Me
Queen - You Take My Breath Away (Live at Earls' Court, 1977)
The Libertines - France (demo)
Style Council - Piccadilly Trail
The Smiths - This Night Has Opened My Eyes (Peel session, 1983)
Suede - Positivity
The Verve - This Could Be My Moment
The Strokes - NYC Cops
Supergrass - Lose It
Battle - Demons
Late - We Could Be Wasted
Beatles - I Want You (She's So Heavy)
Travis - Love Will Come Through
REM - The One I Love
Interpol - Cmere
Director - Reconnect
The KBC - Poisonous Emblem
The Rapture - Don Go Do It
The Dears - Who are you, defenders of the universe
The Smiths - Rubber Ring
Rave-ups - A Girl We All Know
The Cure - The Walk (Infusion Mix)
New Order - Dream Attack
Pet Shop Boys - Opportunities (reprise)/Tonight is Forever
Blur - Me White Noise
Smoke City - Underwater Love
Joy Division - Warsaw
Franz Ferdinand - Tell Her Tonight
The Rakes - Terror (extended mix)
Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet with Butterfly Wings
Stevie Wonder vs The Clash
DJ Earworm - What's My Name?
Christina Aguilera vs The Strokes
Girl Talk - Once Again
Shaky Hands - You & I
XTC - Making Plans for Nigel
Ratatat - So Easy
Stone Roses - Elizabeth, My Dear
Wheat - I Met a Girl
Morrissey - Seasick, Yet Still Docked