Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I deleted your number the other day. It is stupid, really, because I know it off by heart. I had this soul-destroying tendency to sporadically contact you. I would refer you to things that I know you would love. I mean, really love. I don't know if your new lady would indulge you with such referrals, she probably does. Maybe you like something far more pretentious than what you did before.. even though that was never really possible, was it?

When I write to you, I completely omit any tendency to write verbose things. I don't write meaningful things. I give myself a sentence to impart exactly what you need. Sometimes I don't even do that, I just give a link. I don't even write my name. In my heart of hearts, I can't imagine that you would even know my name. That sort of thing is shrouded in sheets of irrational indifference. I can't imagine that you have any perception of me, any impression of what I have become, any idea of what I have done to myself.

I write all this here because this is exactly how I feel about radio. When I speak, it feels like moments collapsing under my feet. Every utterance is made to a phantom, indifferent listener who just doesn't give a damn. That's why every moment is rushed. The meaning and significance of every song is left unexplored. The content of all this is so awkward and sparse. It is because I only give myself a moment to impart exactly what you want. I only give myself a moment because I honestly believe it is all you could really ever tolerate.

La Colère

Cassettes & Chocolate Milk: Britpop Podcast #6
The Go! Team - Milk Crisis
Apartment - Fall Into Place
Biff Bang Pow! - A Girl Called Destruction
New Rhodes - A Different Time
The Charlatans - Then
Spiritualized - Anyway That You Want Me
Supergrass - Grace

Download (26.1 MB)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Beautifully written.